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Hunting the Wild Pierogi

Scott Wilson:
My children were told of vast, some would say prodigious, herds of wild prairie pierogi, swarming to avoid the ravishing of the dread pierogi-bear. The survivors are rounded up for market by pierogi-boys on their pierogi-ponies.

Rowen, wildlife lover, with salt and pepper please:
Scott, with the current dieting emphasis on avoiding carbs, has this cut the market for wild pierogi, and hence the profitability of these roundups? I'm wondering if this may give the herds a respite of sorts, perhaps allowing
them to rebuild viable populations, at least in Canada? I'd hate to have these herds hunted to extinction, leaving only the wild jaternice and the wild runza among the "heritage" fauna of the midwest.

Bruce Trinque:
Rebuild? Without responsible hunting as a control on the population of pierogi herds, they will soon become the scourge of the Plains, not unlike rabbits in Australia or teenagers at malls.

Oh, SURE! You're probably one of those cruel, heartless, potato-skin loving people who thinks it's necessary to parade around in a jacket of genuine pierogi wrappers, too, just to show off how chic you are. Hmpfh. I just hope someday one of our organization spots you and throws sour cream on your jacket.
You never hear anyone pointing out that argument in support of hunting the vast herds of Civil War buffs, now, do you? Or those rabid nautical coves?

Bruce Trinque:
Hah! Wait until packs of uncontrolled meat pies begin roaming the hills and you'll sing a different tune!
But where does it end? Protection of pirogies today, then ravioli tommorow?
Soon we will be neck deep in flocks of free range tortellini, swarms of wild cannoli descending from the skies ...

Doug Essinger-Hileman:
*You* wait until cabbages spread their wind across New England!

Bill Nourse:
Roaming Manicotti, spreadin' their nutmeg everywhere . . .

Gerry Strey:
It's an ill thing to mess with old mother nature. A resurgent population of pierogies may take to preying on your pets, not unlike the cat and small-dog-eating coyotes of Los Angeles. Not to mention car-pierogy collisons.

Julie Hoffman:
I've been reading this exchange with growing concern. It does no good to preach to the converted. How many of the lissuns posting in this thread have written their elected representatives about these issues? I was at a program last night where it was revealed that (in Pennsylvania, at least) when a legislator receives more than seven letters from their constituents on an issue, they view it as a crisis.
I can not emphasize enough the value of writing one's Congressperson on issues of this passionately important nature. Especially since the Atkins PAC is lobbying very hard to have all wild comfort foods eradicated from the entire North American continent by 2009. I can only guess what they have been up to in the EC and the rest of the world.
My contacts (which I can not reveal, hating an informer almost as much as Stephen does) indicate that wild rice production is being threatened and noodles everywhere are in peril. I ask all the members of the Gunroom to ponder what the real purpose of GM foods might be, especially those plant matters that have been crossed with animal (ie -protein rich) foods.
Please, take time to write your elected officials.
Thank you.

Doug Essinger-Hileman:
Now wait just one minute, ma'am. Just when did the Gunroom begin to modify foods? (That is the meaning of the acronym you use -- GM -- correct?) I knew that we had the most erudite discussion forum on the internet. I knew that our webpage provides the interested lissun with just about every bit of information on Jack and Stephen one could want, and that one of our lissuns even runs a nice store at cafepress which sells any number of Gunroom items, and that we've had a couple of weevils named for some of our heroes.
Now you tell me that the Gunroom has been sponsoring the modification of foodstuffs. Why wasn't I told about this?

Julie Hoffman:
Sir, I regret to inform you that parallel to our deep and important discussion of the waning wild pierogie population there is an active Gunroom thread (going on Right Now) involving the transubstantiation of fat and carbohydrate through fire and water into something called Spotted Dick or was it Plum Duff.
If that is not modification of foodstuffs by the Gunroom, I hesitate to speculate what might be.

Kristin Schroeder:
I have heard reliable reports that the Bran Flake mining industry in Derbyshire is in sad decline as it increasingy common to buy factory-made bran flakes rather than the original mined stuff. They are hoping for recovery though by emphasising their organic credentials - especially when compared to more artificial products like crunchy nut cornflakes which although also mined need to be treated extensively before packaging.